Bored?

Boredom is a curse for anyone who wants to live forever.

What Can I Say?

We all know the economy is doing horrible. It's kind of scary to think of the caliber of damage that is being done to our country. As an adult, I am more privy and have a better understanding to how things work. The unbelievable ripple that high fuel costs are causing, the devestation of natural disasters ranging from fires, to floods, to earthquakes, to well, you get the idea. It's really not a happy subject and I don't mean to bring anyone down - BUT, what can be done? I suppose every battle can be broken down into a series of small fights. Some fights you win, some you lose, but overall, if you win enough of the small fights, you will win the war.

Somehow the conversation came up about what I really want to do with my life. It came from someone else wanting to make the million dollar mark - at which point, they feel like they have accomplished something. It got me thinking - what would give me a sense of accomplishment. And I came up with the following list (No, I'm not kicking the bucket and this is in no way related to the movie...hopefully):

In a semi-relevant order:

- Be the best husband and father that my mind and body can accomplish
- Have more good days than bad
- Write a book
- Write a song I am proud of ("Art is never complete, only abandoned." I think that was Leonardo who said that - but I could be mistaken)
- Meet my grandchildren
- Become at least bi-lingual
- Know myself better - subjective...I know...

Well - I guess I don't want too much out of life. I could list a million smaller things that I wouldn't mind accomplishing, but I wouldn't miss them if I couldn't get them. One example would be "Find a poem that moves me and memorize it." It would be nice, but I know myself well enough to know I'll forget it.

As I get older, I have started to better understand the limitations that I must live within. Many people say that there is never a limit to what the mind can accomplish, but I know if I think that way, I will never conquer anything. It will be a version of ADD for goals in life.

I know I am a dreamer. I will always want the next 'toy' or the next aspiration with my life. It's the way I have always been and, from what I understand, the way many people in my family have been. I don't mind. It's who I am and now that I understand I am that way, I can work with it.

I have passed the point in my life that I can radically change my existence. I am married, have an amazing child and have settled into a house and career. Yes, it is possible to change all that, but that would be starting from scratch in the few accomplishments I have attained. I consider myself fortunate to have received the gifts that mean most to me in life - Family. I could care less about what job I'm doing, it all means very little - I just do it because it's intellectually challenging and pays the bills. Money means only enough to support my family and my free time hobbies. A house is simply the shell of what makes a home. The most vivid memories I have in my life are not the houses that I lived in, the toys I received at christmas, nor one school being better than the next - it was always the people I surrounded myself with. Nostalgia rings the most around the co-stars of all my memories. I think back to something that happened and my first train of thought is "Who was there with me?" The memories I least recall? Something I did on my own.

Anyways, enough ranting. The economy is bad, we all know. What I guess I'm trying to say is that through all the bad that is happening, I really don't care as long as I have the people around me that I love. The chance is there that I will lose my job and my house and my car and my way of life - but as long as Katie and Aubrey are there beside me, it can never be too bad.

My love in life is them. Everything else is details.

Aubrey - Revisited One More Time

This is the last one - if I had any other entries, they are gone.

Bonjour ma cher et ma petite enfant—

Tu est presque ici maintainent - environs vingt et un jours plus jusqu'à tu nous joigniez en ce monde. Je veux voir à qui tu ressemble, ta mere ou moi. As tu des cheveux blonde? Les yeux bleus? Dormez tous nuit parce que je dois dormir. Je ne peux pas si tu cri tous nuit! Tu comprends?

Ecoutez-moi, s’il vous plait.

Tu est ma trésor favori dans ma vie. Je ne peux pas attendre à voire ta sourire nouveau et petites orteils et mains. Je veux tenir toi dans mes bras et sentir la chaleur de t'amour rayonnant dans ta peau.

Je t'aime déjà!

Amour--

Papa

Aubrey - Revisited Again

Second Letter:

Dear Nearly Here—

The calendar says ~27 days. We are now in the year you will be born – 2008. On New Year’s Eve you danced inside your mother at midnight as if you could feel the excitement. Your mommy and daddy have had a lot of success in 2007 but for some reason, it all pales in comparison to what 2008 will bring.

Your nursery is pretty much finished. The yellow-green walls with maroon accents will be very fitting for you. Your dressers and closet have been stocked full of clothes, books, diapers, bottles, and baskets. You will not remember the welcome mat we have laid out for you – but, if for some day you read this letter someday, know that love has been put into every aspect of your coming to life and coming home.

Mommy and I put our best guess of when you’ll be born on the little white board in the kitchen. We guessed at your height and weight too. She thinks you’ll be born on the 22nd and weigh 7 pounds 12 ounces and be 19 inches. I think you’ll be born on the 25th and weight 6 pounds 7 ounces and measure up to 18 inches. Don’t let me down – I have a lot riding on this!

I’m working on another lullaby for you. I wish I had a piano to play for you. I wrote your first lullaby shortly after I heard you were on the way. Here are the words:

“Baby’s First Lullaby” by Daddy
This is baby’s first lullaby
A simple tune for little you
Quiet baby, no need to cry
I’ll always be right beside you

Let’s pretend those notes you’re crying
Are your first song
The first of many you’ll sing with daddy
So sing along—
La la la la, la la la la.

This is baby’s first lullaby
A simple tune for little you
Quiet baby, no need to cry
I’ll always be right beside you

It’s too early to know you darling
And all the gifts you’ll bring
Crying only builds your voices power
To help me sing

This is baby’s first lullaby
A simple tune for little you
Quiet baby, no need to cry
I’ll always be right beside you

La la la la, la la la la….

It’s capo on the second fret and played with C – which is actually a D – but I’ll teach you all that someday down the road – first let’s conquer that alphabet!

Well my dear – see you soon (like on the 25th where you’ll be 6 pounds 7 ounces and 18 inches!).

Daddy

Aubrey - Revisited

When I took my blog down, I didn't hear the end of it. That being said, I will slowly repost some of the stuff that I have saved -- which isn't all that much.

Dear Unborn Beauty—

We’re ~33 days from your debut.

Everyone says you’re going to change my life. You will. I will know love like I’ve never imagined. You will test me in ways that seem unbearable. You will be a challenge. To me, you will the point in the universe in which everything revolves. I will abandon some of my dreams to nourish yours – and I’m okay with that. I can’t say what the future holds, but I do know that you hold the future.

I touch your mother’s belly and imagine the shape of you, curled up and resting in the most comfortable place you’ll ever be. Life will be hard once you’re free of your mother’s protective womb. We will do our best, for sure, to keep you safe – but you have to be tough and grow strong.

There are so many things I wish for you. Your daddy has ambition that eludes the fetters of realism and I can’t help but hope you get that from me. I want you to want the world for yourself. Dream big and do more than chase those dreams – get them. Make mistakes, learn from them and be the best at everything. Keep your mind open and always ask questions. Questions are sometimes the most direct way to learn something. If you ask a question and no one knows the answer, look it up and do your best to remember it.

Play music. Find beauty in the cadence of melodies and cry when the music moves you. Love music and you will lose yourself in it. The ride it will take you on will be unique from anything else you ever do. No one can experience it the same way as you will and I can’t emphasize enough that you will find yourself through it.

Be active. Climb, play, be competitive, always want more, find creative ways to never be bored. Test your strengths in athletics and learn the lessons the game can teach you. If it’s gymnastics, learn balance, self control and motivation. If it’s soccer, learn finesse, power, and test the strength of your heart. If it’s dance, be graceful and beautiful. Whichever path you choose, strive for success.

Be creative. Draw, paint, entertain your imagination in ways unique to your world. Be silly and draw the eyes of everyone in the room. Smile and the world smiles with you. Your creative mind is unique.

Get your common sense from you mother. I’m no genius – learn from her. She loves you more than life. You should see the way she holds you through her belly. The uncountable hours she spent trying to find the best way to hold you when you’re not feeling well. She wants you to be healthy and strong.

My dear – we have a long road ahead and I’ll hold your hand the whole way.

Love – daddy.

Man Stands

Man
stands
on a
rock
in
turbid
fog

Lost

the
muddy
vapor
coats
his
skin;

leaks
into
his
ears
and
nose;

They
lead
his
mind
to lead
his feet

Astray

Lemonade Fast - Day 12

I have successfully gone through 10 days of not eating an ounce of solid food. It is quite strange, actually. I'm not dying of hunger, i'm not lacking in energy, and I feel quite good. Doing some research, the best recommended way to break a fast is to drink orange juice or grapefruit juice for 2 days to prepare your system for digesting. Then on the 3rd day following, have soup and salad.

I'm on day 2 of orange juice right now and I've lost a total of 15 pounds. I have been working out as hard as I can, which contributes to that amount quite a bit, but I think I would not have lost nearly as much by just working out. It has been a wild ride and I am amazed my body does not need solid food to survive. I don't recommend this diet to everyone, it's not as easy as you would hope, but if you are determined to lose weight and will do whatever it takes (and would like to reset your body's digestive system), then go for it.

If you'd like more info about it, just email me or comment and I can send all the details needed.

I can't wait to have a taste of my favorite foods though -- in moderation of course, and combined with continued rigorous exercise.

Cheers - and here's to losing 15 pounds!

Lemonade Fast - Day 6

I am currently in Day 6 of the Master Cleanse. It's easy. I thought it was going to be a lot more intimidating than it really is. I was thinking beforehand that it would be tough to do alone without having someone else to do it with, but I've been fine.

It blows my mind to think that I haven't eaten in almost 7 days. When I start to get hungry, I have a drink of the lemonade and the hunger goes away. I'm not unusually lightheaded or lacking energy -- if anything, I feel much better. All of these improvements cannot be attributed to the diet though - I have been working out a lot more which has to make a difference as well. I've lost 7 pounds in the first 5 days. The one thing I am most proud of is breaking my habit of drinking caffeinated beverages - namely "Monster" energy drinks. They are expensive and if I didn't have one - I was miserable. Now, I'm fine waking up early--wide awake--and starting my day on natural energy.

The saltwater flush is easy. It's not as nasty as I thought it would be. The first day I didn't make it in the correct quantity so I ended up taking a swig of heavily salted water, then chasing it with a gulp of ice cold non-salted water. What I do now is just put 1 tsp. of salt into a 2 cup liquid measuring cup and drink it like a morning cup of coffee. I chug the first one down and drink a second to reach the 2 tsp. and 1-quart mixture they recommend.

I think the part I dislike the most is the evening herbal laxative tea, and the only reason I dislike it, is the taste. I'm not a warm drink guy and tea is definitely on the list of least favorite drinks -- yes, I'm wierd.



Some more positive results, my clothes are too loose and I think my face has started to thin out quickly. I feel energized and the sleep I get is very restful.

On the temptation side, I smell everything. I walked through my office this morning and, from some unseen location, could smell omelettes, various flavors of gum being chewed, chicken fingers, perfume and incense. It's really quite strange.

Today is Tuesday and my final day of official lemonade fasting is Saturday. I would personally say it's really the following monday because it's recommended that you drink pulpy orange juice for the two days following in order to prepare yourself for solid foods again.

In conjunction with the smell, I really crave a few items of food. The stromboli's from our local italian place call to me throughout the day. I walked through the shopping market yesterday to get more Grade B maple syrup and the BBQ pulled-pork danced in my nostrils like a tease.

I am making a deal with myself, and KT, that when this is over, we will only eat one "Bad" meal a week. It's good to let myself indulge every now and then, otherwise, I wouldn't really be living my life. With that being said, we have the next 10 years worth of "Bad Meals" practically planned out...starting with that stromboli.

Lemonade Fast - Day 1

So here I am blogging again. It seems like a perfect way to track the roller coaster of experimenting with the Lemonade Fast aka "Master Cleanse." If you youtube the topic, you will find hundreds of people posting vlogs about their experiences with it. It goes to show that it is definitely a ride. From what I see, the results have been very positive.

So here's what it is:

1) Combine 2 tbsp. of fresh lemon or lime juice, 1 or 2 tbsp. of organic maple syrup and some cayenne pepper (as taste allows), per 1 cup of pure water.
2) Drink a minimum of six cups of this mixture a day for a minimum of 10 days. Eat no solid foods. You may drink herbal teas and water as well.
3)Keep your bowels moving with salt-water flush in the morning and herbal laxative teas in the evening to help your body eliminate the toxins accumulating in your colon as the lemonade cleans your entire system. Taking enemas on the last few days is also highly recommended for clearing out your colon.
4) Break your fast by drinking orange juice for two days to prepare your stomach to assimilate other foods. On the third day, drink orange juice in the morning, raw fruit for lunch, and fruits and salad for dinner. Resume normal, healthy eating on the next day.

This morning I started. I put the salt-flush into a water bottle and it took me somewhere in the vicinity of 30 minutes to finish. Everyone warns that you should have a bathroom nearby -- when they say "Flush" they mean it. It isn't painful, nauseating, etc -- it is just what it is...

I am working on my 4th cup of lemonade now. It's very spicy - not sure if everyone has the same level of spice, but it is a little strange at first. Having the citrus taste mixed with Cayenne pepper makes for an interesting gulp. It's 2:30 and I haven't eaten anything since last night. Surprisingly I'm not starving. I'm thinking there is an ingredient (or combination of ingredients) that somehow fools the mind.

The real test will be tonight. I have a gig and cannot eat the free food or drink the free alcohol that is offered to me. It will be very hard because I know from the last time we played there, that their food is phenomenal!

Anyways, here's to the first day! (toast with my lemonade in hand)