What Can I Say?

We all know the economy is doing horrible. It's kind of scary to think of the caliber of damage that is being done to our country. As an adult, I am more privy and have a better understanding to how things work. The unbelievable ripple that high fuel costs are causing, the devestation of natural disasters ranging from fires, to floods, to earthquakes, to well, you get the idea. It's really not a happy subject and I don't mean to bring anyone down - BUT, what can be done? I suppose every battle can be broken down into a series of small fights. Some fights you win, some you lose, but overall, if you win enough of the small fights, you will win the war.

Somehow the conversation came up about what I really want to do with my life. It came from someone else wanting to make the million dollar mark - at which point, they feel like they have accomplished something. It got me thinking - what would give me a sense of accomplishment. And I came up with the following list (No, I'm not kicking the bucket and this is in no way related to the movie...hopefully):

In a semi-relevant order:

- Be the best husband and father that my mind and body can accomplish
- Have more good days than bad
- Write a book
- Write a song I am proud of ("Art is never complete, only abandoned." I think that was Leonardo who said that - but I could be mistaken)
- Meet my grandchildren
- Become at least bi-lingual
- Know myself better - subjective...I know...

Well - I guess I don't want too much out of life. I could list a million smaller things that I wouldn't mind accomplishing, but I wouldn't miss them if I couldn't get them. One example would be "Find a poem that moves me and memorize it." It would be nice, but I know myself well enough to know I'll forget it.

As I get older, I have started to better understand the limitations that I must live within. Many people say that there is never a limit to what the mind can accomplish, but I know if I think that way, I will never conquer anything. It will be a version of ADD for goals in life.

I know I am a dreamer. I will always want the next 'toy' or the next aspiration with my life. It's the way I have always been and, from what I understand, the way many people in my family have been. I don't mind. It's who I am and now that I understand I am that way, I can work with it.

I have passed the point in my life that I can radically change my existence. I am married, have an amazing child and have settled into a house and career. Yes, it is possible to change all that, but that would be starting from scratch in the few accomplishments I have attained. I consider myself fortunate to have received the gifts that mean most to me in life - Family. I could care less about what job I'm doing, it all means very little - I just do it because it's intellectually challenging and pays the bills. Money means only enough to support my family and my free time hobbies. A house is simply the shell of what makes a home. The most vivid memories I have in my life are not the houses that I lived in, the toys I received at christmas, nor one school being better than the next - it was always the people I surrounded myself with. Nostalgia rings the most around the co-stars of all my memories. I think back to something that happened and my first train of thought is "Who was there with me?" The memories I least recall? Something I did on my own.

Anyways, enough ranting. The economy is bad, we all know. What I guess I'm trying to say is that through all the bad that is happening, I really don't care as long as I have the people around me that I love. The chance is there that I will lose my job and my house and my car and my way of life - but as long as Katie and Aubrey are there beside me, it can never be too bad.

My love in life is them. Everything else is details.

Aubrey - Revisited One More Time

This is the last one - if I had any other entries, they are gone.

Bonjour ma cher et ma petite enfant—

Tu est presque ici maintainent - environs vingt et un jours plus jusqu'à tu nous joigniez en ce monde. Je veux voir à qui tu ressemble, ta mere ou moi. As tu des cheveux blonde? Les yeux bleus? Dormez tous nuit parce que je dois dormir. Je ne peux pas si tu cri tous nuit! Tu comprends?

Ecoutez-moi, s’il vous plait.

Tu est ma trésor favori dans ma vie. Je ne peux pas attendre à voire ta sourire nouveau et petites orteils et mains. Je veux tenir toi dans mes bras et sentir la chaleur de t'amour rayonnant dans ta peau.

Je t'aime déjà!

Amour--

Papa